Careful of the stacks - LIBRARY LOG

[libraryassistants]

Who: EVERYONE!
What: A bunch of Editors walk into a library...
When: October 31st - November 13
Where: The Unfinished Library
Content warnings: Please add them as needed in the comment titles!

Welcome to the Library, Editors.

As the new residents drop into the Library, they are bound to have questions. Unfortunately it seems no one (except perhaps someone on the phone) appears to have any answers. But there is a nice little cart with a carafe of too weak coffee, a pot of too strong tea, assorted creams and sugar packets, and what appear to be leftover boxed shortbread cookies. There’s a sign inviting people to help themselves but reminding them not to take any food or drinks into the stacks, or touch any of the books with their grubby cookie hands. But aside from this little display and the nametags they’re all given, which do reappear whenever removed for the first week (where do they keep coming from?), the Editors are more or less left alone.

The Library is eternal, or at least it seems that way, unbothered by its new inhabitants. It certainly does not seem like this is anything unusual within its operation. Are there other sections of the Library with Editors, tucked into a different part of the stacks? Have there been Editors here before, and the ones here are simply a replacement? It’s impossible to say, just that the Library seems quite prepared for them. The refrigerators are stocked with appropriate (if generic) foodstuffs, any tantrums in front of the circulation desk are completely ignored, and attempts to set the Library on fire fizzle out before anything can even catch.

However, after a few days, some of the scenery in the Library seems to be changing. Little singing bowls and white noise makers pop up on various shelves and counters, yoga mats appear tucked under the bunk beds (plenty for everyone, somehow), and some of the rooms have started playing relaxing, meditative music over unseen speakers. More confusingly, there are also small UFOs hanging by string from the lower ceilings of the contained rooms, which on closer reflection are revealed to simply be two paper plates glued together and painted silver. In the beginning they’re quite sparse, but by the end of the second week they are everywhere and impossible to ignore.

At the start of the second week, there is a possible hint as to why, for at least part of it. On the table by the circulation desk there is a sign: “This Week’s Recommended Reading: Invasion of the Body Snatchers!” Next to it, there is a sign up sheet: a waitlist to check-out the ‘reading.’ (There is no explanation or apology for it actually being a movie.)

[ooc note: The Library prompts from the TDM can be considered canon to the game. Remember any of the locations listed in the setting are fair game. Have fun!]

Comments

[monstrous_bride]

The most ridiculous part, to her, is frankly the shoes. The furry thing isn't even wearing pants, after all.

She looks down at the crumbs, looking back. Had he actually kept...?

"It's not my fault you don't know how to duck," she says, crossing her arms.

[ultimateedgehog]

Pants are for squares, or something like that.

"I know how to duck," he growls. She may notice his eyes straying from her face - he's trying to find and read her nametag. His own is not quite the original he showed up with, but it's near enough that it reads HEDGEHOG, SHADOW THE instead of having devolved into epithets. "I wasn't expecting some idiot to be throwing food in a library."

[monstrous_bride]

Her own nametag has been thoroughly defaced, with just an insult for those who get close enough to read it.

But at his words she just glowers at him, leaning down a bit.

"Awful strong words for someone I could punt into the next century."

[ultimateedgehog]

While he does match that glare with his own, red eyes narrowing, he doesn't seem put off or phased at all.

He gives her a once-over, before visibly appearing to dismiss her as a threat and returning to an unimpressed look. The insult on her nametag hasn't improved his image of her. "You wouldn't get very far."

[monstrous_bride]

"No, that's rather the point it's you who would go far. Like a football."

And yeah, his reaction doesn't help her reaction any. She's not going to be dismissed and sassed by an upstart rodent in shoes. This isn't goddamned Tom and Jerry.

[ultimateedgehog]

Shadow is already well aware of the Library's safety mechanism, and the fact that a fight will get them exactly nowhere.

"Try it," he sneers at her anyway, never one to back down. He'll even let her land the hit instead of just dodging it. Hubris, thy name is Shadow.

[monstrous_bride]

She isn't, and it's an open question if that fact would stop her if she did.

So she just nods at his words, takes a few steps back, and then arcs forward, leg pulled back...

And if there is one thing you pick up, spending the first century or so of your life in Europe? It's how to perform a football kick for height and distance. Shadow weighs more than a football, but she has super strength behind her.

The only question in her mind is aim.

[ultimateedgehog]

If he were even a smidge less prideful, this would not be happening. But Shadow is absolutely convinced that this humanoid - whoever she is - won't so much as wind him with her best attempt.

So while he braces, grounding his weight heavily into his feet and bending his knees, he makes no attempt to dodge what turns out to be a really freaking good kick.

He maintains his belief that she's going to learn a lesson right up until the microsecond where he feels his feet leaving the ground. In that microsecond, as her foot connects and begins to lift him, his brow unfurrows in disbelief - and while it's not quite the same as being smashed into a wall by a high-powered robot, it's also not far off.

So, yes: hedgehog goes sailing; a neat arc down the aisle of the Stacks. Congratulations, it's a goal!!!

He's grudgingly impressed that he has to fire up his shoes to right himself midair, despite the comparatively slow speed. (--look, the guy casually breaks the sound barrier. You're going to need jet engines before you get him to admit you can keep pace.) What that looks like, functionally, is a rapid pirouette swing of his leg to twist mid-arc to get himself hovering upright at his own behest again.

And while that's happening, the safety mechanism has triggered - again, in his regrettable case. The Library fading out between one blink and the next, replaced by blue skies, calm waves, and the world's most serene yacht.

[monstrous_bride]

She pauses in the act of balling her fists to follow it up with a percussion solo played out on hedgehog skull, looking around in disbelief.

"What the fuck?!" she exclaims, moving to the railing and looking over.

"What bullshit is this?!"

[ultimateedgehog]

For once, the boat hasn't formed right underneath Shadow's back. Probably because the speed at which he's traveling would have meant he'd have gone sailing right off of it.

Instead, this time, it's that perfect blue sky that blinks into being around him; the boat beneath him.

With a scoff, he crosses his arms; hovering above the green woman once more. There's a bruising ache in his chest, from the kick that was very well-placed, but it's already beginning to fade. Being the 'Ultimate' Lifeform has its perks.

"Welcome to the Boat," he says dryly. He does not look happy about it, muzzle curled back. god he hates this place.

[monstrous_bride]

She runs through a few scenarios in her head, trying out the logic as she brings the seething under control. Understand what's going on, then break things.

"Oh for shit's sake - we're in a goddamn time out, aren't we?"

It's the only thing that makes sense. In this stupidly, suspiciously pleasant place - of course there wouldn't be solitary confinement or anything like that. Just this passive aggressive nonsense.

All so cloyingly relaxing.

[ultimateedgehog]

His answer comes in the form of an affirmative grunt; communicative as always.

It's a smooth descent to the deck of the boat for Shadow, the flames from his airshoes gradually dimming and then fading as he touches down.

"It looks like this place took you seriously." He looks at her askance, a side-eye more than anything. Especially from his height. He's not tilting his head back to look at her. But he has no problem flatly acknowledging: "That was a decent hit."

It's not very audible. But there is the faintest, tiniest edge of respect in those words.

[monstrous_bride]

Well. That's not the worst outcome, then, is it?

There's a long pause at all of that, her hands tapping at the rails.

"You've got some guts, furball," she finally grunts.

[ultimateedgehog]

His ear twitches with the tap of her nails, but otherwise, he is completely unmoving.

A warm breeze blows past. Another long moment passes. He finally, eventually, uncrosses his arms.

"I am the Ultimate Lifeform," he says levelly, by way of explanation. "'Guts' doesn't even begin to get into it."

At no point has the inflection of his tone changed - but somehow, there's still a flicker of something wry about it.

[monstrous_bride]

She makes a coughing sound, and then she's laughing, half-bent over by the time she's through, arm across her stomach.

"Ultimate lifeform!" she repeats, wiping away a single tear, finally straightening up with a sigh. "Well, I'll admit you're a funny one, shortstack."

THANK YOU that is the correct reaction. he does not deserve to be taken seriously.

[ultimateedgehog]

He waits it out, unimpressed. At least she doesn't carry on for as long as certain blue hedgehogs.

His mouth just pulls back into a flat look.

"There's nothing funny about it."

[monstrous_bride]

"There absolutely bloody is when it's coming from a pint-size...whatever you are...in shoes. Ultimate lifeform? I mean, a little ego..." she can't help chuckling again. "A little ego is fine, but match it to the package, shortstack."