unsheathedfromreality: (carry me on the winds of a storm)
Illarion Albireo ([personal profile] unsheathedfromreality) wrote in [community profile] unfinishedlibrary2026-04-01 09:38 pm

[log] Chopped: Link's Exploded Backpack Edition

Who: Anyone who wants to salvage the Unreasonably Large Food Pile left in the kitchen ... and elsewhere ... by Link's departure.
What: An Unreasonably Large Pile of delicious fresh food!
When: April 1st
Where: The kitchen and surrounding areas in the Lobby. The bugs and lizards might spread ...
Content warnings: Contains live insects!! Potential insect-eating. Should be pretty tame otherwise!

It starts with a hurried post on the bulletin board in Illarion's efficient script:

There is an enormous pile of food in the kitchen that needs to be saved.

Anyone who can prepare or preserve it welcome.


After an hour or two, a tidy little inventory appears beneath the initial message, along with an attempt to track -- by name or description -- who's taken what, and how it's been used. There are some inventive descriptions on there for the items Illarion doesn't recognize.

(It doesn't look exactly like this -- because Illarion doesn't know the names of everything in the pile, or everyone who stops by, and certainly wouldn't make a spreadsheet -- but the poor digital substitute will have to stand in for his glorious real list.)





Those who do respond to the urgent missive will find the kitchen exactly as described: Absolutely full to overflowing with fresh produce that could've grown in the Library's garden, alongside a veritable market wagon of fresh fish, meat, and more produce. (Along with ... rocks and wood?)

Oh, and there's also a minor infestation of live bugs and reptiles actively escaping into the stacks.

Illarion's right in the thick of it for hours, first tirelessly triaging the mass into what should be cooked or preserved first, what will store well in the icebox, and what can be kept around on the shelves. Then he turns his hand to preparing the meat and fish for drying (and saving the fat from the richest cuts).

Once he's certain the most perishable items are taken care of, he sets aside some of the fat, honey, and berries for himself. Then he goes out hunting, pursuing the bugs and lizards loose in the Lobby and stacks. He's got no shame whatsoever about chasing them under furniture or up bookshelves, and soon has his sabertache full of squirmy tidbits.

Then it's back to the kitchen, to render the fat and make crunchy insect pemmican from his prizes.

(He's enough of a magpie he can't resist making off with some of the gems. There's someone out there who will look stunning in rubies and amber...)

((OOC: Feel free to use this as a jumping-off point for whatever you wanna do with your top levels! No need to tag Illarion -- go wild.

The spreadsheet above is fully editable -- feel free to put in what your guys take on tab 2 & I'll eventually get some automation going to track the item inventory and tab 1 will do inventory for us. Have fun!!))
thickasacastlewall: (Default)

[personal profile] thickasacastlewall 2026-04-13 01:19 am (UTC)(link)
"He's extremely tall and spent the last Story hiding in the sewers," Dunk explains. "I don't know his name, so I call him the Sewer Man."
icanhearscreams: (huh...)

[personal profile] icanhearscreams 2026-04-13 02:35 am (UTC)(link)
"You know what, that's fair." He glances around. "Or we could just knock over a bookshelf."
thickasacastlewall: (Default)

[personal profile] thickasacastlewall 2026-04-13 05:15 am (UTC)(link)
"... we could," Dunk allows. "Do you want to?"
icanhearscreams: (i'll do it.)

[personal profile] icanhearscreams 2026-04-13 06:08 pm (UTC)(link)
"Maybe later." He looks down at the fish. "Not now. But we could. It's boring enough here that it might be interesting."
thickasacastlewall: (Default)

[personal profile] thickasacastlewall 2026-04-15 06:23 am (UTC)(link)
"It is, isn't it?" Dunk says. "I don't want to complain, but I am not really a man who is made for libraries."
icanhearscreams: (listening)

[personal profile] icanhearscreams 2026-04-15 06:19 pm (UTC)(link)
"I like books, but I don't like that they're all unfinished. And it's really difficult to find what you're looking for, anyway."
thickasacastlewall: (Default)

[personal profile] thickasacastlewall 2026-04-16 02:08 am (UTC)(link)
Dunk nods. "Or even which room you're headed to."
icanhearscreams: (huh...)

[personal profile] icanhearscreams 2026-04-16 08:54 pm (UTC)(link)
"Exactly. There's no logic here..." His frustration is pretty clear. "Hm... I think it's time to flip it."

He grabs a spatula and starts trying to move the fish.
thickasacastlewall: (Default)

[personal profile] thickasacastlewall 2026-04-17 07:07 am (UTC)(link)
Dunk meanwhile gets a large fork to help in the flipping.
icanhearscreams: (glancing up)

[personal profile] icanhearscreams 2026-04-17 10:14 pm (UTC)(link)
He braces the fish up against the side of the spatula and lets Dunk flip it with the fork. Might as well make the big guy feel useful right now...
thickasacastlewall: (Default)

[personal profile] thickasacastlewall 2026-04-21 05:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks, Jun. You're a pal.

And— FLIP.
icanhearscreams: (downward gaze)

[personal profile] icanhearscreams 2026-04-22 12:25 am (UTC)(link)
He can be. Occasionally. But that done he puts the spatula down.

"Thinking about this place... I don't know why me, though. ... To be brought here, I mean. Out of all the people who could have been... taken."
thickasacastlewall: (Default)

[personal profile] thickasacastlewall 2026-04-29 11:57 pm (UTC)(link)
"I'm not sure why they took me either," Dunk admits. "I'm tall and strong, but... I'm not what you'd call the greatest knight in the Seven Kingdoms."
icanhearscreams: (haughty)

[personal profile] icanhearscreams 2026-05-01 02:10 am (UTC)(link)
“Yeah, but I assume you can at least fight. I can barely throw a punch that’d hurt anyone but someone my age or younger.” And even then, sometimes his knuckles hurt pretty bad afterwards.
thickasacastlewall: (Default)

[personal profile] thickasacastlewall 2026-05-03 12:58 am (UTC)(link)
"I could probably teach you how to throw a better punch," Dunk volunteers. "You keep your thumb on the outside, right? Punching with your thumb on the inside is a good way to break it."